3 Lessons from Hajar (AS) to Strengthen Your Resolve on Your Marriage Journey

3 Lessons from Hajar (AS) to Strengthen Your Resolve on Your Marriage Journey

First, who is Hajar?

When Ibrahim alayhis salam and his wife, Sarah, were traveling through Egypt, they heard that there was a Pharaoh who would capture beautiful women and kill their husbands. To protect Sarah, when Ibrahim alayhis salam was asked about her, he said that, she's my sister, which wasn't a lie because she was a sister in faith. But despite that, Sarah was taken anyway into the palace of Pharaoh. So when the Pharaoh tried to approach her, Sarah made dua to Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la to protect her, and Allah did so by making Pharaoh get temporarily paralyzed each time he tried to get close to Sarah. Once the Pharaoh realized that Sarah could not be messed with, he sent her away out of fear and gave her gifts as well.

One of those gifts was Hajar alayhis salam, who was at that time a handmaiden in the palace of Pharaoh. So the three of them leave the palace and make their way out of Egypt. Now Ibrahim alayhis salam and Sarah could not have children. So Sarah gifted Hajar to Ibrahim and he marries her.

It's important to note that Hajar coming from the palace of Pharaoh is not a believer, but after seeing the character and conduct of Ibrahim alayhis salam and Sarah, Hajar too accepts the message of tawhid. So now Ibrahim alayhis salam and Hajar have a son named Ismail. This is happy news for everyone involved.

Ibrahim gets the command to take Hajar near the Kaaba

Now imagine the scene. It's hot, there are no people, no water, no vegetation, and it doesn't seem like there was any discussion on the way to mentally prepare Hajar for what was about to happen. Ibrahim alayhis salam leaves Hajar and Ismail as he was commanded to do so, with a small amount of dates and some water and turns away to leave without saying a word. When Ibrahim alayhis salam was leaving them, Hajar says to him, Oh Ibrahim, where are you going, leaving us in this valley where there is no one, nor is there anything else around? She repeatedly asked him, but he did not turn to respond. She then asked him, did Allah command you to do so? He said, yes. She said, then he, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, will not abandon us.

This is Lesson #1 - Have yaqeen (certainty) in who Allah swt is.

Even if you can’t see the solution - hold firm onto that which you do know - Allah (swt) knows your situation and He has placed us in it. He will not abandon us.

When he's out of sight, he turns around and makes dua, he says, Oh Allah, I have settled some of my offspring in a barren valley near your sacred house. Oh Allah, so that they may establish prayer. So make the hearts of believing people inclined towards them and provide them with fruits so perhaps they will be thankful. Ibrahim alayhis salam makes his dua and leaves.

The situation gets worse

So now her son is crying since the food is finished, the water is gone and now she's not able to produce any milk for her son. She has to figure something out.

This is the situation Hajar found herself in that she not only has to worry about herself, but Ismail alayhis salam too. So she took it upon herself to look for resources. After running back and forth from Safa to Marwah calling out to any possible travelers, looking for anything in the distance, she finds nothing.

Does she just sit there and say I have tried everything? No.

She gets up and looks again.

This running between the Safa and Marwa is hard - imagine running from one hilltop in the desert dunes, with a crying baby. It is physically exhausting.

She goes between Safa and Marwa. Anything in sight? No.

Does she just sit there and say I have tried everything? No.

Here is Lesson #2 - if all you have is 2 options in front of you…then that is what you keep trying to do. Going through the same options, apps, events, aunties…and you put in the effort. That is our job, is to put in the effort.

Results come from Allah.

Allah swt changes her situation and makes a way out for her

After going through the 2 hilltops 7 times, she looks up and sees Jibreel alayhis salam. He digs into the ground with his foot and from there the water of Zamzam springs forth. What a blessed spring, SubhanAllah. Hajar alayhis salam drank from it and nursed baby Ismail as well.

Look at how Allah swt compensates her for her optimism and faith in Allah.

Allah swt blessed her with an answer to her du’a better than what she imagined for herself.

She wanted fruit, a sign of life, people or animals.

But what she received was far greater than what she could have imagined for herself.

Here is Lesson #3 - Allah swt blessed her with more than that. Where people were to come to her, settle near her, and a legacy that continues on till this day.

This is the perfect example of Allah’s words in:

This is one story that we can extract multiple lessons from.

Which lesson hit home the most for you?

What other lessons can you extract from the story of Hajar alayha salaam?

If you are struggling to navigate your marriage journey and want guidance rooted in Islamic values, reach out to me.

I am Amaney, founder of Sacred Soulmates, dedicated to helping Muslim men and women build marriages that bring both joy and benefit to the ummah.

Visit: sacredsoulmates.co